


Eighteen (A Love Like This)

by underthexmoonlight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Minor Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Multi, OT5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underthexmoonlight/pseuds/underthexmoonlight
Summary: Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn have been best friends for as long as they can remember.Harry is the new kid who moves towns five days before school starts.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistake! x

“I’m so gonna miss this” Niall said melancholically, passing over a half-smoked cigarette.

The sun was setting over the riverside where they were sitting, all four scattered around the wooden floor of an abandoned little ship that had been there ever since they could remember. It was their spot, and not only because they had carved their names into one of its sides when they were eleven. 

“Oh, my God, please” Zayn complained. “Stop talking about it. It’s depressing enough as it is” he said, gladly taking the cigarette Liam was handing him.

Niall rolled his eyes. “Grow a pair. You need to start facing reality” he said dramatically.

Louis, who was sitting by his side, snorted.

“We’re going into senior year, not war” he pointed out, puffing out a big cloud of smoke.

“And you wanna tell me Mrs. Knight’s essay-question tests are not a fucking war?” Niall exclaimed, only half joking.

“Fair enough” Louis laughed. “But, hey, this is our last high school year. It is our duty to have as much fun as possible” he claimed. 

Zayn lighted up at once and exchanged looks with Liam, and Louis couldn’t tell why or how, but he immediately knew what was going on in their heads.

“Are you thinking about what I’m thinking?” Liam asked allusively.

“I am if you’re thinking about having a first day party!” Zayn replied, way overexcited.

Louis chuckled and shook his head. 

“That actually sounds great, though” Niall intervened, quickly drawing their attention, and at that moment they all knew there _was_ going to be a party. Niall was always on the frontline when it came to organising events and getting people together. Especially when the people involved where as many as the students attendingtheir school.

“That’s what I’m talking about” Louis laughed, putting out his cigarette. “We gotta have fun. At this time next year we’ll be off to college, God knows how far away from here and from each other and... if you think about it, this is kinda our last chance to have a good time together.”

“Wow, what’s with the sentimentalism, Tommo? You feeling okay?” Zayn joked, fondness written all over his face.

They’d never admit it, but at that moment they knew they were all feeling the same wave of sadness and melancholy rushing through them. They were brothers; they had been since primary school. It was hard to imagine life without their little group.

“Wow. Everything’s changing already” Niall spoke, completely serious. “I mean, we’re talking about college, Zayn’s just used a complicated word...”

Zayn threw him his lighter. 

“Hey!” he complained, still chuckling as everyone else laughed along.

They remained silent for a while, passing around what was left of the cigarette and staring at the surface of the water before Niall spoke again.

“You know what might cheer us up?” he said, drawing everybody’s attention. “FIFA tournament at my place. Pizza, beer and PS games all night long.”

Needless to say the proposition got them all back on their feet and hurrying to get back to town. After all, it was getting dark.

* * *

When the alarm went off the next day, all four woke up with a start and in a pretty bad mood. They were scattered about Niall’s living room, some of them laying on the floor on a pile of blankets and pillows, some tossed on the couch and armchairs. Zayn still had the Play Station’s controller in his hands.

“Who the hell set an alarm?” Louis hissed, heaving up on his elbow and looking at his friends with half-closed, grim eyes. He had never exactly been a morning person.

They started looking around for their phones, struggling to keep their eyes open while the beeping kept echoing through the room.

“Shit” Liam mumbled as he realised the noise was coming from his phone. “I forgot to turn it off yesterday.”

“Why did you set it in the first place?!” Niall asked in exasperation, burying his head back into the pillow.

“I woke up early to study yesterday morning” Liam replied nonchalantly.

Three sets of eyes stuck on him at once.

“What in God’s name is wrong with you?” Niall said, giving voice to everyone else’s thought. 

“Hey, school starts in a week and I wanna do good this year” he justified himself. 

Niall shook his head, completely fazed; Louis and Zayn simply shared a look and smirked. They had heard that same sentence for years, every year, always a few days before school started, and they knew for a fact one week, two tops, was all it was going to take for Liam to get sick of playing the ‘perfect student’ role. It just wasn’t him. It was none of them, actually, which was also why either Zayn nor Louis even tried to fake it anymore. 

“Alright” Louis said after a few moments of sluggish silence. “It’s nine thirty. What do we do?” 

“Get back to sleep.” 

“No, c’mon” Louis muttered, kicking off his sheet. “You know I can’t go back to sleep once I’m awake.” 

“So we should _all_ get up because _you_ can’t sleep?” Niall asked rhetorically, raising his eyebrows.

Louis just nodded.

“I’m glad we cleared that up. Now c’mon, let’s get some breakfast.” 

And with that started a very long series of begs and exhortations to get them up and dressed, which ended up with Louis blasting _1975_ ’s music on the living room’s speaker and the three of them cursing but finally rolling out of their blankets. 

Half an hour later they were sitting at a table outside a bar, drinking lattes and eating eggs on toast. 

“You eating that?” Niall asked Liam, voice muffled as he kept chewing on his own breakfast.

Liam looked at him with a mixed expression of disgust and amusement.

“Yeah I’m eating it” he replied. He actually hated scrambled eggs, but not as much as he loved to piss Niall off. 

“No, you’re not, you hate eggs.” 

“Jesus Christ, you look like you haven’t eaten in a week” Louis said, sipping on his juice. 

Niall shrugged, taking a forkful out of Liam’s eggs.

“Maybe I’m getting my period” he justified nonchalantly.

Zayn choked on his drink when an old lady turned around, confusion written all over her face.

“You’ve been getting your period every day for the last ten years then” Louis mocked him, chuckling as the blonde guy nodded. 

“Exactly.”

“Guys” Liam intervened, suddenly dead serious. His eyes were stuck on his phone. “Guess who just texted me.”

“The President of the United States.”

“The Prime Minister.”

“That cute Spanish girl we met last year.”

Liam stared at them blankly, simply wondering why he still bothered hanging out with them. 

“No, no, and I wish” he answered, raising his eyebrows at Niall. He couldn’t remember one single math theorem but of course he remembered the cute Spanish girl from one year ago.

“It’s Madison.”

“Madison, who?” Zayn asked.

“Madison, Zayn. _The_ Madison.”

“You mean, _Madison who you snogged in that nightclub’s cupboard four weeks ago_ Madison?” he blurted out, lightening up at once.

“That one” Liam confirmed, almost laughing at his friends’ expressions of disbelief.

“What did she say? Does she want to hang out?” Louis asked, clearly hyped. Madison was the school’s beauty queen, everybody knew it. The fact that one of them had made out with her was crazy enough, but her actually wanting to _be_ with one of them? That was pretty much unbelievable.

“Yes” Liam answered. “I mean, not exactly. She asked if I’m going to be at Niall’s party next Friday.”

Louis and Zayn turned to Niall at once.

“How many people have you told about this already?” Louis asked, shaking his head. 

“And why didn’t you tell us first? We’ve just spent two days together” Zayn added. 

“I posted about it on the school’s Facebook page last night” he explained. “You old farts were already asleep and me and Liam were bored.”

“You hear that, Zay? We can’t even sleep anymore.” 

“ _Anyway_ ” Liam intervened, pointing to his phone as to remind them what the real question was. “What am I supposed to tell her?”

“What do you mean ‘what are you supposed to tell her’?” Niall scoffed. “Of course you’re gonna be there. Aren’t you?”

That sounded more like a threat than a question. 

“Of course I am” Liam huffed. “But I don’t know if I should tell her, I mean... does that sound too, you know... desperate?”

Zayn snorted, Louis rolled his eyes and Niall just full on cursed out loud.

“Jesus Christ, mate, this is not a fucking American romcom” Niall said, taking the phone out of Liam’s hand. “Just tell her. Here” he said, typing.

“Niall, what the hell- ”

“Shush” he said, fully concentrated on the texting. “ _Yes, I’m going. See you there, I hope. Ps: my friend Niall will be completely available on Friday, too. Tell a friend._ ”

“Niall!” Liam exclaimed, reaching out for his phone. Niall gave it back to him, but the text was already sent.

“Oh, my God” he complained, hiding his face in his hands. “She’s gonna think I’m some kind of sex addict.” 

They all laughed and shook their heads. Liam could be really dramatic at times. Most of the time, actually. 

“So, _party plann_ ” Louis told Niall after a while. “How many people are gonna be there?”

“Yeah, and do we have a place yet?”

“And who’s paying for drinks and snacks?” 

They kept asking questions as they always did, apparently concerned about the organisation, but they knew they had nothing to be worried about: Niall was a messer, but sort of an organised one.

“It’s all been sorted out, my friends” he said solemnly. “So far, it’s 42 people and everyone’s gonna bring something. I explained it all on Facebook. Half’ll bring the snacks, half’ll bring the drinks, and if someone wants to bring some extra stuff, well, we’re not gonna say no, are we?”

Zayn nodded approvingly, as well as Liam.

Louis, however, wasn’t quite convinced.

“Okay, but where are we gonna have it?”

Niall cleared his voice nervously, glancing sideways at Liam. 

“I was thinking that...” he mumbled, but the last words were barely audible.

“What?” Louis asked, furrowing.

“I was thinking” Niall repeated in a louder tone. “Maybe we could have it at your house.” 

Louis bursted out laughing. “You’re joking, right?”

Niall didn’t answer and kept looking around nervously.

“Oh, God, you’re not joking” Louis said, suddenly serious, leaning over the table. “Are you actually asking me to host the party at my house after what happened the last time?” he asked in disbelief.

Niall nodded, agreeing. “Yeah, I know, you’re right. But, look, my house’s too small for that many people, Liam’s parents are always home, and Zayn’s got two thousands younger sisters who probably have a curfew at nine” he explained with a begging look on his face. 

Zayn furrowed, fake offended. “I have three younger sisters, Niall, and... well, yeah, if we have the party at mine we’re probably gonna have to keep it quiet from nine thirty on.”

Niall shot Louis his ‘what-did-I-tell-you?’ look.

“I have _six_ younger siblings!” Louis tried again. But Niall - all of them, actually - knew better. 

“Your family’s at your grandparents’ beach house for the weekend. You told us two days ago.”

Louis cursed under his breath. Why did they always have to share everything?

“Okay, fine” he gave up at last, earning a cheer from Niall. “But I swear to God, if anything like last time happens- ”

“No way, mate, I promise” Niall assured him. “I’m gonna tell everyonethere’ll be a strict _whoever breaks, pays_ policy.” 

Louis nodded, still not completely convinced, before Liam drew everybody’s attention again.

“Guys, Madison texted back.”

“What did she say?” they asked in unison.

“She said _hopefully_ with a - oh, God - a kiss-blowing emoji” he said, unable to hold back a smirk. The other three looked at each other with half-opened mouths.

“Oh, and Niall” he added.

Niall almost broke his neck turning around.

“She said none of her girlfriends can make it on Friday, but she has a cousin who’s just moved here who’s available” he joked.

Niall raised his eyebrows. “Female cousin?”

Liam chuckled. “I don’t think so, mate” he replied, watching Niall’s face drop.

“I mean, unless Harry’s become a girl’s name, too.”


	2. Chapter 2

Music was already blasting through Louis’ TV speakers when the guests started coming. 

They walked in, put whatever they had brought on the kitchen table and joined the rest of the crowd in the living room, and Louis definitely wasn’t a math enthusiast, but he was pretty sure the people coming along were adding up to a lot more than forty-two.

“Niall!” he shouted over the music as the umpteenth group of guys walked in. “Wasn’t it supposed to be forty people?” he asked even though he knew the answer.

“Yeah, but you know” Niall shouted back in between the greetings. “One guy asked if they could bring guests and I said yes, I just didn’t think _everyone_ was going to” he explained.

Louis’ house was quite spacious (after all, they were a family of nine), but definitely not enough to hold over sixty-five teenagers.

And that became clear as soon as five minutes later, when people started spreading in the kitchen, the garden and even in the dining room.

“Hey, hey, you can’t go in there” he told three guys who were trying to get in.

“Why not? Everyone is” one of them complained.

And as he opened the door, Louis realized there were at least fifteen people in the room already, and most of them were smoking. Not only cigarettes.

“Get the hell out of here!” he shouted, trying to speak over the loud music. He couldn’t believe they were smoking weed in the same room he had lunch with his grandparents on Sundays.

 _I have to look up how to get rid of the smell_ , he thought.

“What? Don’t tell me this is a non-weed party” a girl protested, passing around a joint.

“You can smoke whatever the fuck you want, just do it outside!” Louis explained, and, surprisingly enough, everyone seemed to agree with it (the air was getting pretty heavy in there, to be fair) because they all got up and outside without further complaints.

“Lou!”

Louis winced. He turned around to find Liam just inches from his face.

“What?”

“Have you seen Niall?” he asked, looking around.

“He’s out in the garden, I think. Why?”

“Because the jerk texted Madison from my phone, _again,_ and I don’t know what to do” Liam explained, showing him the texts.

**Madison Jones** : _Hey! We’re on your street but we can’t find the house. I’ll send you our position, can one of you come pick us up?_

“Go, you idiot!” Louis exclaimed before Liam could say anything. “Take my car and go pick her up!”

“You think?” 

“ _Hell yeah!_ ”

Liam seemed to ponder his options for a second before grabbing the key Louis was handing him and heading outside.

Zayn suddenly appeared next to him as if of nowhere, making Louis wince again.

“He’s going to go pick up Madison Jones” he said incredulously. “When are we _ever_ , Lou?”

“Never, mate. Let’s just make our peace with it” Louis replied, dramatically patting his shoulder.

“But, hey” he quickly added. “You know what? This is a party. There are like forty girls in here. And - not to be rude or anything but - they’re all hot as fuck.”

They looked around the room in unison, and it might have been dark, but they realized they _were_ surrounded by really pretty girls.

“You’re right” Zayn agreed, looking back at Louis. “And you know what I just realized? Perrie’s here tonight” he said allusively. Perrie had been his crush (or the girl he had unsuccessfully tried to impress) for the past four months.

“Yeah, I just saw her going outside, you should go talk to her” Louis suggested, literally pushing him towards the door.

“You think?”

Louis rolled his eyes.

“ _Yes_ ” he replied. “Now go.”

Zayn stared at him for a second, just like Liam had done five minutes earlier, then headed outside. Louis shook his head: his friends spent their life trying to play tough guy and then they barely had the guts to go say “hi” to a girl.

At half past nine, Louis’ house was bottled up, and he _really_ hoped no one else would come along. People had doubled from the forty Niall had declared (not that he was surprised, to be honest: that was just how Niall’s parties were), and he was actually kind of happy about it because he was having _a lot_ of fun, but he feared the house would explode if one more person walked in. 

“Is Liam back yet?” Niall asked as he filled their cups with cheap beer.

Louis furrowed. “No, actually. It’s been fifteen minutes, where is - ”

As if he heard him, Liam walked in with two girls at his heels and a... oh, there was a boy, too.

 _It must be the cousin_ , Louis thought.

Half of the room turned around to look at them, mostly because, well, it was Madison; but while her and her girlfriend seemed to enjoy the attention, the boy behind them looked like he would have gladly buried himself alive instead of being stared at by all of those people.

Of course no one was actually looking at _him_.

Well, except for one person.

Louis just couldn’t divert his eyes from him.

The longer he looked, the more the guy became interesting. He really couldn’t explain how or why it was happening.

He had curly hair and a pair of deep dimples that showed up as soon as he cracked a smile. That made Louis smile, too.

He hardly even realized when Liam came walking towards them, followed by the three new guests.

“Guys” he said, smiling so hard both Louis and Niall had to hold themselves back from laughing.

“This is Madison” he said, introducing the red-haired girl even though there really was no need to.

“And these are her cousins, Gemma and Harry.”

Gemma was radiant and kissed them both on the cheek. 

Harry just smiled and nodded.

“So, I’m gonna show the ladies around” Liam said, raising his eyebrows allusively. “Give Harry something to drink.”

And with that he disappeared into the living room.

Louis shot Niall a questioning look, not really sure how to approach someone he had just met (and who was making his mind race), but if there was something Niall was extremely good at, it was socializing. 

“What’d you like, Harry?” he asked cheerfully. 

“Beer is okay” Harry replied, and Louis swore even Niall was taken aback by his tone.

It was _so_ deep.

He handed him a full cup, and they all just drank silently for a while before Niall blurted out: “Hey, where’s Zayn?”

Louis shrugged. “Last time I saw him he was trying to hit on Perrie.”

Niall raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

“Edwards? Yeah, okay. I’ll go get him, he’s probably not that busy anyway.”

Louis giggled as he watched Niall elbowing his way through the crowd before turning around and realizing he was now alone with Harry.

He was just thinking about ways to fill up the time but Harry anticipated him.

“Do you have a lot of parties around here?” he asked casually.

Louis seemed to think about it for a second.

“Yeah, I’d say. Niall organizes them, he’s also in charge of the school dances. It’s gonna be a fun year for seniors this one, I’ll tell you.” 

He didn’t know why, but all of a sudden he just wanted to _talk_.

“So I guess I shouldn’t be too worried about school” Harry observed, and Louis suddenly remembered he had just moved there and realized he was probably really worried about not being able to fit in. He felt like he wanted to comfort him but he definitely didn’t know him enough to do that.

“Of course not!” he replied. “It’s a very chill school and the people are really friendly, maybe even too much. They love it when new students come along... you’re probably gonna be a celeb for the first few weeks” he joked. Harry chuckled, but didn’t seem impressed.

“I’d rather not” he laughed nervously, and - oh, there they were, the dimples. “That’s kinda the reason I had to move schools.”

Louis wanted to ask more. He suddenly wanted to know where he came from and why he had “had” to move, but Niall and Zayn showed up in that exact moment, and by the look of it they were too tipsy to do anything but party.

As the night went on, Louis often found himself hoping to get a second chance to talk to Harry.

He had always been a really curious type of person, but there was something else about that guy Louis couldn’t bring himself to ignore.

He wanted to be his friend, he wanted him to be more than just someone he had seen at a party once, and he knew it was weird and pretty unreasonable, but that was something he hadn’t felt since he’d met his three best friends, and it was exciting.

There were too many people, though, Niall kept dragging him back to the dance floor every time he tried to sneak out and at four in the morning, when half of the guests had gone home and the other half had fallen asleep or passed out on the floor, he was so tired he just dropped on the couch and fell asleep right away. 

He woke up the next day to a trashed-up room and a throbbing headache.

It took him about ten seconds to realize three very important things: way more people than he remembered had stayed over, it was two in the afternoon, and Niall was drooling all over his shirt.

He groaned and kicked him off the couch.

Niall moaned and mumbled in his sleep, before opening his eyes all of a sudden and rushing, stumbling, to the kitchen.

Louis heard the sound of retches and groaned as he realized Niall was throwing up in the sink his mother washed their dishes.

He needed to sterilize the _whole_ house.

A few people woke up at the noise, including Liam, who, apparently, had been sleeping with Madison flung all over him.

Louis smirked in his direction, and he probably would have made some lame joke about it if she hadn’t woken up at that exact moment.

“What... oh, God, sorry” she stuttered, immediately moving away.

“No, it’s okay.”

Liam was smiling like a proper idiot.

Something had definitely happened between the two of them, Louis knew it for a fact, and he would have gladly looked into it, but his attention was diverted by a sleepy figure walking in the room.

Harry had his eyes half-closed and looked like he was struggling even to stand. His blue jeans were stained in red, probably wine, his shirt was untucked and falling loose around his hips, and his hair was extremely messy and yet... endearing.

Judging by the flush on his cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes he was probably as hungover as the rest of them, but as he looked at him, Louis thought he never in a million years would have looked that neat after a night out.

And maybe _that_ was the moment he should have started questioning himself, because Harry’s extremely attractive sister was sleeping near him wearing a pretty tight Guns N’ Roses’ top and no bra, and yet there he was staring at a boy he had met no more than fifteen hours earlier like his eyes were glued on him. 

He probably _would_ have wondered - and maybe even worried - about it, if Zayn hadn’t just walked through the front door and slammed it.

The few people who were still sleeping jumped up while the rest of them groaned and complained like someone had just thumped them on the head. 

“I hate you _so much_ ” Niall hissed, coming out of the kitchen with a ghost-pale face.

Zayn rolled his eyes and “I bought you breakfast” he announced, emptying a big brown paper bag on the coffee table.

“Candy bars and aspirin?” Louis asked raising his eyebrows.

“I’ll take that” Niall muttered, rushing towards the table and grabbing a box of Advil.

Zayn looked at him half amused, half disgusted.

“What the hell did you drink last night? You look like shit.” 

“I can only tell you what I _didn't_ drink, and that is _absolutely nothing_ ” Niall replied, dry downing a couple of pills and throwing himself on the couch. He must have felt really bad to ignore Zayn’s comment.

Louis took a pill too and reached for a water bottle, and soon everyone was crowding around the small table, swallowing meds like it was actual candy.

Harry leaned over him and towards the table to do the same. Louis didn’t know why he was holding his breath. 

“Want some water?” he asked without even realizing it.

Harry nodded and took the bottle with a smile. “Thanks.”

_How is he so...?_

“Okay everyone” Zayn suddenly called out, much to everybody’s displeasure. “It’s almost three and this house is a mess, so you can either stay and help us clean, or you can go.”

His friends knew he was joking (well, at least partly), but the rest of the people was still too stunned and sleepy to get anything other than the “clean up” part, and in less than two minutes they were all gathering at the front door and saying their goodbyes.

Madison and her cousins were the last ones to go.

“Well, thanks for a _great_ night” Emma hinted, smirking not-so-subtly towards Liam. “And thanks for giving my cousins such a good welcome” she added, mostly talking to Niall.

“Don’t thank me” Niall replied, though rather enjoying the appreciation. “Louis gave us the house.”

And suddenly everyone was looking at him and smiling: Madison, Gemma, his friends and Harry, and Louis felt like his face was about to explode from the heat.

_What the hell is up with me today?_

“Well, then thank _you_ ” Emma said to him.

“No problem” he blurted out, cracking a smile.

All of a sudden he was completely embarrassed by Harry’s presence, and he hated it. He also hated how bad he was at hiding his feelings as he saw Zayn shooting him a questioning look. Too bad he had no answers whatsoever.

They were just about to leave when Harry, face half-hidden in his beige coat, turned around and said: “Thanks, _Louis_.”

Louis stared at him blankly for a way-too-long second and finally managed to repeat “No problem”, uncomfortably aware of how strained his voice sounded.

And it got even more uncomfortable when Harry chuckled, somehow amused by him, and walked out at his cousin’s heels.

But the absolute worst thing was, as soon as the door closed, Louis realized he couldn’t wait to see him again.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days after the party, as they sat around Liam’s kitchen table, Zayn started “the talk”.

It was something they always did after nights like that: someone would just make a reference, and soon enough they’d all be reminiscing, laughing at some dumb drunk thing one of them had done or giggling at _hot_ (and most of the times clearly fake) stories.

Zayn definitely wanted to talk about the party as soon as it had ended, especially after those embarrassingly obvious innuendoes between Liam and Madison, but they had a house to clean and about six hours of sleep to catch up, not to mention Niall was so wrecked he probably wouldn’t have been able to sustain a conversation.

As they fought over the last slice of pizza that day, Zayn’s phone’s screen lighted up with a text.

“So” he said, smirking as he read it. “I think we should talk about a certain _person_ at this table who did a certain _something_ with a certain _someone_ two nights ago” he hinted. Liam literally choked on his water.

“Stop looking at me!” he defended himself when he stopped coughing. “Nothing happened, we just hung around, danced, had a couple of drinks... made out.”

“ _What?_ ” Louis, Niall and Zayn blurted out in unison.

Even though they all knew him and Madison had kissed before, that one hit differently, because there was a non-spoken rule every teenager, including them, knew about: when the same two people drunk-kissed, the first time was out of alcohol, but the second one was out of attraction.

“ _Yeah_ ” Liam confirmed, now fully hyped. “And the best part was, we weren’t even that drunk.”

“Madison Jones has a crush on you” Niall muttered, mostly to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.“Madison Jones has a crush... on _you_.”

“I don’t know about that, but - wait, why is that so weird?” Liam asked, offended.

“ _Because!_ ” Niall bursted out, making everyone laugh but Liam. “Don’t get me wrong, mate, but, let’s face it, we’re a bunch of losers. She’s the prettiest girl in school, she could get literally _any_ guy, and she chose you. You gotta admit it’s pretty unbelievable.”

Liam shook his head disapprovingly, but he was smiling. It was nearly impossible to be mad at Niall, and plus, he knew he was right.

“By the way, how do _you_ know about it?” Liam asked Zayn, who, apparently, couldn’t get that smirk off his face.

He was pretty taken aback by the question, though.

“I, um... her cousin told me.”

“Harry?” Niall asked naively.

“Gemma. We’ve been kind of... texting.”

“What do you mean you’ve been ‘texting’? What about Perrie?” Liam asked, confused.

“Yeah, well... that did not work out. She kinda has a boyfriend.”

They all cooed jokingly at that.

“Okay, guys, but seriously, are we planning on making out with the _whole_ family or what?” Niall blurted out.

Everyone laughed except for Louis: the only thing he could think about now was the image of Harry making out. Not with him, _obviously_. Just... making out with someone.

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

The conversation went on for a while between jokes and scandalous descriptions of possible scenarios until they moved to the living room to play video games.

Zayn suddenly took Louis aside as Liam and Niall started a FIFA match.

“Lou, listen” he said, now completely serious. “If it bothers you I’ll stop texting Gemma.”

Louis furrowed, clearly confused. “Why should it bother me?”

“You were eyeing her the whole time at the party” Zayn replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And you looked pissed off when we were talking about her.”

Louis had to hold himself back from laughing to his face.

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t pissed off, and I barely even saw her at the party” he argued. But then, all of a sudden, he realized. It wasn’t Gemma that he kept looking at. It was the boy following her.

He froze for a second but tried to keep a straight face, even though his heart was racing.

He could see how weird that... whatever it was that he had towards Harry was, and he thought that if one of his friends had noticed, it meant that it was already out of control. He was lucky enough Zayn thought he was interested in Gemma. That would have been way easier to explain.

Zayn furrowed but didn’t say anything else. He had noticed how stiff Louis had gotten all of a sudden, and he really wanted to know what was going on, but he had been friends with him long enough to know he just had to wait for him to be ready to talk. Pressuring him would have been a waste of time.

Going home that night, Louis found himself thinking about his conversation with Zayn.

He felt like he knew something was up but was scared to ask, as if he feared Louis’ answer might jeopardize their friendship.

Louis himself didn’t know the answer, though. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to ask himself. All he knew was that thinking about Harry made him feel good, like a weird yet very pleasant hobby.

What was hard for him to accept wasn’t the fact that he might be interested in a guy. It was the fact that it was all happening _so fast_.

Just three days earlier he was completely sure he was straight. It wasn’t even up to debate.He had been in three relationships in the past four years, and they had all been with girls. Girls that he really liked, who he had fun with, that he kissed, hung out with, cuddle. It was nice.

But then again, even the most passionate kisses he had got from them weren’t nearly as nice as the way Harry had pronounced his name two days earlier.

That had been like... a shiver, a jolt. And no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t remember feeling that way with any of his girlfriends.

As he walked down the street, warm, summer air blowing through his hair, he actually started questioning his sexuality.

_What if I am...?_

He tried to picture his life like that, and to say it looked catastrophic would have been an understatement.

His friends would abandon him, it was as simple as that. They slept together, they walked around in their underwear in the morning, and that had been okay so far because they were like brothers and they knew none of them would have ever made _that_ kind of thoughts. Him being gay would have changed everything. He would have had to be twice as careful when he spoke to avoid being misunderstood, he would have had to make sure his jokes didn’t have hidden meanings because God forbid he made a sexual innuendo to one of his straight best friends.

And then there was his family. He could already see his mother’s shocked face, his father widening his eyes, his little siblings shooting questioning looks to their parents as he introduced his new boyfriend to them. Just the thought of it made him sick.

He couldn’t be gay.

Plus, he couldn’t be attracted to a guy like Harry, who definitely wasn’t gay and who definitely wouldn’t have looked at him if he was.

He turned around the corner and walked the twenty feet from the sidewalk to the front door of his house, and as soon as he opened it, the smell of his mum’s dinner ran over him.

His life flashed before his eyes.

No, he couldn’t be gay.

And if he was, he just had to snap out of it. It was as simple as that.

Throughout the next few days, the issue sort of fell out of his head.

He was with his friends most of them time, and when he wasn’t, he was either doing homework (his mother was forcing him to since school was starting in two days) or helping his siblings do their own.

He was glad he was managing to keep busy, if he was honest, because the thought of having time to think about that made his stomach swirl.

That way, everything was good.

Until it wasn’t.

“Lou?” Doris, his youngest sister, asked him one day while he helped her with maths.

“Yeah?”

“What does ‘gay’ mean?”

Louis was actually afraid she might hear his heart beating out of his chest.

He cleared his throat, trying to re-gain control over himself because Doris had now lost interest in his coloured pencils and was staring at him with curious eyes.

“It’s...” he tried, but realized he didn’t really know what he was going to say. “It means you like people of the same sex” he said finally. He wasn’t sure his baby sister would actually be able to grasp the concept.

“Like... girls liking girls and boys liking boys?” she asked instead.

“Yes, exactly.”

“Oh.”

Silence fell between them, but it was only awkward for Louis given how Doris had already got back to her stuff.

“Where did you hear that word?” he asked all of a sudden.

“On the telly” Doris replied distractedly. “There was a woman and then another woman came along and they said they were gay and married” she explained. Louis realized she was probably talking about some guests on that talk show their mother used to watch.

“And... what do you think of it?”

He didn’t know why he had asked that. What could a six-year-old girl ever think about something like that?

Doris shrugged indeed, and just said: “Nothing. But they were all smiley and happy and it was very cute.”

Louis smiled as his little sister went back to her homework like it was no big deal, because it really wasn’t. And maybe it was about time he realized it, too. 


End file.
